Remember: Safety (for themselves, others and things you care about)
is the only reason to intervene with the natural play of children.
(this goes for us older children too!)
There are so few things to ever get upset about.

1. Leading with Joy
If you're joyfully interested in what you're doing it will be attractive to them.
Always make sure they are physically comfortable... and are listening to their bodies...
when it's time to eat, sleep, drink, rest, stretch, run... etc.
if you model healthy habit without shame for not doing it... it becomes attractive..
especially the way they sit while learning... (at the computer, watching TV, etc.)

2. Sharing your Wisdom
Through continually affirming that they have innate wisdom
through a connection to God as they come to understand God,
acknowledging our kids ability to come to understandings & wisdom through life.

3. Allowing for Understanding
Come through conversations through offering your ideas
while affirming that their own connection
will guide them to their own understandings.

4. Modeling your Forgiveness
We are not our behaviors... we are so much more...
affirm that we make our behaviors better if we know why it is better.
If we say we are sorry easily, they will too.
Saying you are sorry is not about accepting "guilt".
It means tht you are sorry for you for the person being hurt,
that you care about them and that you will do your best not to hurt them again.

5. Offering your Techniques
By saying, "this is what helps me to do ________,
you must find your own way with it." Kids appreciate seeing ones "technique"
if they still have a choice to come up with a different way of doing it.

6. Explaining everything Clearly
Most kids can be reasoned with if they have been reasonably respected.
This begins with making a kid friendly environment so no is not used unless necessary (hurting: themselves, others, or something special -
best to put it away until kids are older.)
As much as possible teach these things when they feel like doing it
or when it naturally comes up in life.

7. Respecting Transition Time
Have a signal "one minute" (pointing up in the air) this means:
" I see that you want my attention, and I want to give it to you,
but we need a moment to finish up before I transition,
then I can give you attention because I do want to, I just can't this minute."
Respect each others transition time
and be sure not to abuse this signal, so it becomes meaningless.
The idea is that kids begins doing this back at us & respect it.
With this concept they're learning patients & we need to model it back to them
when they ask us to wait a minute until they're ready to make a change.
What happened is that they learn to be patient
& how if feels when someone is patent with them,
this way cooperation happens naturally, because we are "playing fair".

8. Redirecting with Fun
By having lots of interesting things & safe places that are fun to play,
it's easy to gently direct children to a different activity.
Make sure it's not see as a punishment or shameful,
this forces the child to protect themselves & defy you.
If you say it like you just came up with a good idea,
and it really is a good idea from their perspective,
they will agree and drop the behavior instantly.
If they are really into it, they might be into you showing
them an alternative way to do it safely.

Remember again: Safety
(for themselves, others and things you care about)
is the only reason to intervene
with the natural play of children.
There are so few things to ever get upset about.
If you explain why it's not safe & how it can be or
how something else might be a whole lot more fun...
usually a child will go along with it...
this whole process is about the last way negotiating.
Negotiation is the tool they take with them for the rest of their lives,
to create what they would like to be in their lives.

9. Negotiate and Re-negotiate (if needed) until it feels good
Keep the connection... if there's a dis-connect,
mend it quickly through thoughtful meaningful conversations where
the two people see their relationship as a 3rd person both need to protect & honor.