Miracle #3 - Studying The Old Kung Fu TV Series

Interestingly enough before getting pregnant, I had been watching the old Kung Fu Series. I had seen it as a small child when it first came out and yet now, as an adult, it meant so much more to me. Here was a man (Cane) with gentle strength who had people attacking him all the time just because of the way he looked. I noticed that he knew how to get out of the way when it was needed to give people space and yet would not budge when he needed to be somewhere even though people made it clear he wasn't welcome. He was highly intuitive and let his intuition guide him. He was a Shaolin Monk and a Kung Fu master who could easily defend himself and yet he would only use force when there was no other choice - only in self-defense or to help others who could not defend themselves.

While watching it everyday.. 2 questions came up.

1) What would it have been like to be raised by enlightened teachers?

2) And what if those enlightened teachers lived inside us?
(So we could have flashbacks of our training to guide us.)

This show was a good place to start to give me an image of what a parent does to develop a humble yet empowered person who is resilient in all situations and knows how to lead with gratitude and love. A parent who allows their child to explore their world and only gives guidance when it is needed (for safety) or when it is asked for.
Then, when an answer is offered it still is framed as their choice and they are told to follow their heart and intuition and told that they will know what's best to do because they are wise and to trust that.

Her ovarian cancer went into complete remission in only 3 week!
I was so blown away that I used it for inspiration to write down what I knew of about healing and began to write the book: foodcool. Within a few months she had a healthy baby girl. Her partner and her were thrilled - the doctor told her it that it may be really hard to have a baby because he was preparing to take out her cancerous ovary as soon as the swelling went down. I think he was the most surprised of all.

Blessings be... and so it is.

Miracle #5 - I discovered "Letter Writing Therapy"

Many of the first inspirations for these Transparenting concepts came from a situation where some people who I thought knew me well (who felt they were "trying" to help me) were extremely abusive in how they went about it - so it did more harm than good to our relationship. I had always been the pathfinder of the group and this all happened when I was pregnant and even more sensitive and intuitive than before, as well as much more vulnerable. I now understand the subconscious opportunity they saw to finally "get me" in the name of "helping" me. I also see how my need to be good and kind kept me from keeping some much needed boundaries for myself. At the time it happened I was beaming because of the woman healing of Cancer, knowing full well that it was Spirit who had healed her and I was humbled by the miracle of it and the need to acknowledge what I know - all while the miracle of birth was happening to me. They let their fear lead them on a witch hunt that began with them deceiving me until I found out that they had lied and then they said mean and cruel untrue things and threatened me and the baby.. all in the name of "helping" me. All my positive energy had blinded me because I thought I could trust them. This was indeed a rude awakening and yet it was an awakening none the less.

I had to look inside at whatever I did..
to create this energy coming to me.

I did my best to process what had happened over the years - and soon I began to acknowledge parts of me that didn't really trust them even though I wanted to - blinded by my love for them and desire to have a loving relationship with them. However, now that they had done something so undeniably uncaring as they told me it was for my own good and even believed it. It was all too obvious that they were not acting in a caring way and this is what freed me from my own denial. Not of what they accused me of, but of how they really treated me and what I "wanted" to believe about our relationship. My process of healing from this devastating blow has now become one of my greatest understanding of how to help myself heal and now, how to help others to heal as well. It taught me a lot about what works in the healing/recovery process and what doesn't and why. It is no coincidence that before it happened, I had been doing a lot of inner work and so that when it happened I was able to see (for the most part) that this happening as my path to healing.

However it was harder because I was pregnant and had waited so long for this miracle. So I began spending a lot of time processing what had happened through writing letters to everyone involved. They made it very clear that had no interest or real ability for now in processing with me, so I did not send the letters. However, it gave me the chance to process it with them when ever I felt I needed to.

At first, it was an ongoing conversation with each person just so I could get out my feelings. Then, I began to watch over time (through reading what I had written and re-writing to upgrade how I felt) how I was changing in my stance. I was getting more and more compassionate and less and less angry. I began to understand that they didn't know any better and that they really thought they were doing it because they cared about me. They just didn't know how to help in a way that was really helpful to me and could see that I didn't really need their help - I was better than ever in my life. When I really needed them, they hadn't been there that much and now when I didn't need them they made it worse.

I did my best to heal the relationships and if I talked to them about it at all they would just argue more with me and tell me I was in denial. They were believers of tough love (which I don't think helps as much as empowering interdependent love) and running on the fuel of fear - not a good combination.

I was being wrongfully accused of lies that grew out of their fears and then told I was in denial. Enough to drive anyone batty or to a clear space. I chose a clear space. History is filled with those who rise to the occasion - when many are unjustly against one. The story of Joseph in the bible was very empowering for me and I watched the Dreamworks movie version with it's beautiful animation and songs over and over again.. each time I was able to heal a bit more. It gave me so much strength to get through this.. to see that God has purpose in everything that happens, no matter how absurd it seems at the time. Later on, if I brought up what had happened to process it, even from my own growths perspective - all I would get in response was them insensitively asking me, "Aren't you over this yet?" in an impatient tone. Instead of re-connecting with me or in any way healing what had happened.. even saying that they were sorry for the pain they had caused me.

They continued to keep the disconnect going
and even blamed me for it.
This of course, adds insult to injury -
yet I am better at seeing the humor in it now.

Recently a few have said they are sorry and admitted it was wrong - yet some still won't talk with me. I still think to this day that they did it for my own good and were "helping" me and that the problem is that I just don't get it. Through it all I had my beautiful son's & husband's insightful love and support. I am continuing to heal my past and am now able to help others because of it - so now I am able to bless it all as a learning experience. I am clearer about protecting myself with healthy boundaries and seeing people's energy as it is, not how I would like it to be now too. When I see this kind of confused energy I bless the person and know how to deflect their energy without walking away or making them feel like I judged them for their fearful energy. However, I am much more cautious when it comes to making plans. However, now I know how to deal with it much better through a very important tools that I call:

The Art of Disarming the Bully.
&
The Art of Co-Creative Communication

By writing the letters I opened up my concepts to resolutions
and now those concepts have turned into Sojournals.
And will one day be several books.

Coming soon:
3 Focuses for On-line Sojournals

At age 4

Now Zack at age 6 This was his first headshot - he's an actor. (More current photos at his actors page.)

After 10 years of marriage we were not sure we could have a child and yet our faith brought us our son - a true miracle. When I first met my husband I had predicted a child of ours coming at exactly the age I was at when he did come (however I did not know it would be our first.) We knew the second we conceived him and we blessed him into our lives with a prayer. I was already very healthy (tests showed me healthier than most woman at least 10 year younger) and I went on a super healthy superfoods filled diet and began preparing for the labor by studying belly dancing (It was created for that purpose - as well as getting pregnant, if you know what I mean.) I was doing my yogadance set and meditation regularly (a blessed chiropractor gave me alignments every week and I still think this helped it to be only a 4 hour birth.) I took time to organize all my songs with doing some upgrades in re-writes that made them a lot more empowering conceptually. I also studied Feng Shui (for the natural nesting instincts) and Reiki (hands on healing) training's up to master level in 3 styles Tibetan, Karuna and Regular Reiki. I know now it was to raise my energy level up to the level of my son's. He has blown us away with a lot of psychic abilities.. saying things to people about their past that kinda freaked them out (stuff he would have no way of knowing.) We are teaching him how and when to say things and more importantly, when not to. If he feels he has to say something we have encouraged him to whisper it in our ears and we can decide if it's appropriate to say or not - until he is older and knows for himself.

At 2, he gave himself the name Ariah as the first word he said. This was just before had been watching Brad Pitt in "7 years in Tibet" with me and he was so into it that I asked him if he'd been a monk. He nodded. I asked if he was the Dali Lama and he shook his head no. Then, I asked him if he was a servant to the Dali Lama and he nodded again. So, after the movie was over I brought him to the world map on the wall and asked where he'd lived before, he pointed right to Tibet without hesitation. About an hour later I got the idea to bring him the globe.. asking again where he'd lived before. He spun it and again pointed right to Tibet. Later, when my husband came home I told him what had happened and he took him to the world map and asked him where he'd lived before. Again, he pointed right to Tibet and this time slightly north and then looked at us as to say, "Are you going to keep asking me this?" He's amazingly insightful and wise and I am eternally grateful to serve as his parent and to the fact that he's not the Dali Lama, so we can raise him although hanging out at an ashram would be fun.. we have a different calling this time around - to live in the western world and embrace being an artist, creative, vibrant, healthy and full of life, and live in integrity being constructive and solution oriented in every aspect of life.

At 4 he once said to me:

"Don't tell me what you want me to do, tell me why I want to do it."

Finding a school for him was a vision quest for our whole family. A long process of searching for, talking to, and visiting alternative schools - that we shared together and his insights in each situation was amazing. The whole process has taught me so much and the power of faith in what is possible to co-create the perfect situation when you are willing to risk it all to make a possibility for it to to be found - by really looking with all your heart and not accepting less. Currently, after home schooling him for most of the time while we "tried" several schools. We found and a constructivism based community centered school for him as well as ourselves in the East Bay Area. So many miracles lead us there and showed us it was the right place of our son. It was similar to when we found his Kindergarten school by going to Camp Indigo (for Indigo Children) that was held there in the summer. Zack (Ariah then) blew away the adults who were showing hands on healing techniques to the kids when he volunteered (after they asked) to lead the hand on healing. (He was the only child that took the challenge when they asked if anyone wanted to. He came to the girls head and sat easy pose and then put his hands in prayer position (hands together palm to palm - hands to his mouth and then did what I found out later was Tibetan hand mantras - he was very exact. The kids we all silent the adults started laughing out of amazement. Since then he has showed us time and again his amazing insights - and how he has taken our ideas and grown them into his own.

Paz and I now offer follow-up to our life readings... with what ever focus that comes up for you in the reading.
Together, we co-create a custom Hypnotherapy CD that you can listen to first in the bath..
and continue listening to for years to come.

Personal Source Bathology Wellness Kits