How do we modivate our kids in a healthy way?
Healthy Negotiating Techniques
It may seem like bribery to someone who was raise by
fear, neglect, or with the variious abuses including emotional abuse,
which is not often counted.

There are many ways to spoil a child & only one way not to...

1. KEEP THE LOVE CONNECTION ALWAYS!
Redirection is easy if you're really playing with them...
kids switch gears all the time & want to play something else.
So to take the attention from the thing that could be hurt...
or to modivate them to do something you'd like...
say it like a kid, speak their language...
"Hey, I have an idea... "
or
"Hey, are you hungry... "
only if it really has been a while & you are honestly hungry
& if they say no, they try something else.
Discover something...
there are so many interesting things everywhere
Hey, wow, check this out..."
Kids love to play with us, so use it as a tool

2. NEGOTIATE EVERYTHING FAIRLY
Remember how helpless you felt as a child, don't do that to them.
If you are fair, they will be fair back...
cooperation is a two way street.
Fair negotiating will be with them as a skill for the rest of their lives 7
allow them to get into & keep healthy relationships.
(Co-dependancy happens when no fair negotiationg is possible
for what ever reason... addictions, neglect, abuse... etc.)

3. WHILE LISTENING TO THEM & THEIR NEEDS
(take time outs if things get heated to re-center & breath...
the third thing we teach them is how to calm down & get centered again)

4. EXPLAIN YOUR JOINT DECISION
(Brady Bunch Ethics: provide a united front of both parents,
together deciding  what's best concerned)

5. KEEP OPEN TO RE-NEGOTIATING, IF NEED BE

If a child is acting badly, note that they are not their behavior & tell them so.

"You are so smart & wise & kind, why would you do something like this?"

Misbehavior is a cry for help... needs are not being met somewhere.
Is it you, your partner, siblings, &/or peers?
So first, start with examining yourself as the parent,
then to what may be happening to them,
that could make them act this way.

REMEMBER: No shame or blame ever taught anyone good behavior...
only more reason to act out bad behavior.

For more information on this check out:
  Discipline with out Shouting or Spanking by Jerry Wyckoff Ph.D and Barbara C. Unell
     Without Spanking or Spoiling: A Practical Approach to Toddler & Pre School Guidance
by Elizabeth Crary