7. Negotiating "fairly" for all concerned
This is the most important key in inter-dependent relationships.
Negotiations and/or re-negotiations as the case may be,
empowers a relationship to be healing.
Codependency happens when, for what ever reason,
we can't negotiate with the others involved.
If we are forced to do things out of fear, and can't even say how it makes us feel, we become very disempowered and so does the relationship.  Learning to negotiate in all situations in life is vital to self-esteem and healthy relationships.
If we are in situations where we can't do this,
then that is our message to look at... and our path of growth is to change that.
If it doesn't feel good, but we do it anyway, then, our answers are to be found as we understand ourselves & the situation better.  What keeps us there?
How can we change ourselves so that we have different ways of dealing with it?
The main path in all growth is to be in the present.  Our past is important because it holds answers for us, understanding our programming and
why we unconsciously do what we do
to block our hearts from being loved & loving others & ourselves.
This process allows us to unfold opportunities for the future...
yet the key is being here & now, where we can make changes,
one moment at a time.