2. Being "there"
for for each other...
in a balanced healthy
way
Interdependence
is a learned thing, because most of us weren't raised in a healthy empowered
interdependent way. Interdependency from codependency is the transition
that heals relationships. Tough love doesn't work. It's cruel and
gives the person a feeling of being abandoned in their hour of need. Healthy
support is vital to someone in need of healing.
We come together
in relationships to heal... we come to grow past who
we've been programmed
to act out... to come closer to who we truly are.
Codependency is
helping someone to the point of hurting yourself, but doing it anyway because
there's no way to negotiate or re-negotiate with honest communication,
for what ever reason.
Interdependency
is being able to help when you can, comfortably... and negotiate or re-negotiate
by communicating honestly & lovingly about how their behaviors make
us feel,
in a way &
time so they will be best heard & understood.
Each person taking
care of their own needs as much as possible,
so that the shared
time is sacred.
A relationship
is the space between the two (or more) people & needs to be protected
by both
(or the group of)
people involved in it. Next time a disagreement comes up try this:
See the relationship
as the third person and each one can talk to it and apologize to it for
the hurting each have done, that may have damage the relationships trust.
Do this from an
objective point of view, with no blame involved... in the name of growth.
(Kids become the
physical form of this truth.)